Summer 2015.

In September this year, I returned to university to start my second year of Film Studies. When arriving back in Cheltenham I first thought that my feelings would somewhat lift, I felt that everything would somehow be lighter. 

I should now state that my summer of 2015 was very hard, during it I felt my mental health changing. 

Throughout most of my teens and young adult years, I have had trouble with my emotions. Managing my emotional well-being got to one point in my life that I had to begin therapy sessions when I was around 15. 

I'm typing this meaningless-to-you-post because I feel that my life has been switched up, in such a short space of time my mental health has just crashed. During the summer of 2015, I became increasingly reserved. I isolated myself, and ended up shutting myself off from the outside world. It became so bad that I got to the point where I couldn't leave my house without at least one person with me. And even then I was still very anxious. 

Anxiety gripped me unlike it ever had before. My past experience with therapy sessions proved very negative and had very little positive impact on me, so of course I withdrew more and shut down completely. 

My summer became bleaker in my mind - most probably due to problems within my family. My parents have been separated for approximately 2-3 years now, and yet still live in the same house together. Along with this I have problems between myself and other members of my family. My tongue however was held throughout the summer holidays, I bit my lip when I felt myself being pushed and frustrated by annoying traits. 

I stopped speaking to my mother, and depended on my boyfriend for almost anything. 

I felt like I became a burden upon those who I loved, and that pushing them away would be better than pulling them down with me. I limited my speaking with my cousin, and became petty and bitter about simple things. 

Deep down I was angry about my parents' situation, and that I was somewhat stuck between a family which never spoke about their feelings, and the world outside my house where I couldn't face others. 

I felt scared to leave my home, I constantly felt that something horrible would happen if I went anywhere alone. 

I took to avoiding others, and social situations. And to this day, I can't really give anyone a straight answer on why. I probably felt that I would be judged, I know that I thought I would be catcalled, mugged or abused. 

My anxiety spiralled out of my control. I worried about walking up my local high-street alone. And thus, daily chores became hard, and even getting out of bed or changed soon seemed impossible.

I exploded one afternoon at my mum, my feelings about the family situation flooded her ears, and I soon came out with the truth that I was suicidal. 

Since days of teenage years, I remember becoming increasingly depressed, along with heightened anxiety becoming apart of my life. 

I recall feeling hopeless and alone, I began counselling in school, and soon moved onto NHS therapy - which left me with little hope for ever taking part in therapy again. 

Soon, my confidence grew and I fell into a boring life. However I made lifelong friends, who I still cherish today. My life became normal again, even though in a period of time I failed many GCSEs, started a BTEC, and gradually failed to get into any choice of universities. 

Then I was thankfully accepted into Gloucestershire through clearing, by being egged on by my best friend. My life was renewed. I met my boyfriend of almost two years, and felt like I was moving on from my old self. 

However, summer of 2015 met me head on and brought back memories of a world I had forgotten. I felt like the 15 year old who shut herself out of people's lives. 

After a summer away from university, I hated being at home in Bristol. Thinking that my second year at uni would bring me out of my depression was wrong thinking as well. Nothing changed, I still felt low and a change of scenery only made me more unhappy about leaving my house alone. 

Finally, I was nudged to get help. My boyfriend promised me that it would be worth it. And he was right. The uni doctor put my on antidepressants, which would balance out chemicals in my brain and somewhat sooth my anxiety.

These were not overnight happy pills, they effected me severely and proceeded to me taking time off of lectures. My uni helped me a lot, and continue to do so. I was introduced to a self help service from the NHS, and now manage my depression and anxiety hand-in-hand with my medication.

I am not fixed. I still feel estranged from the world in some ways. I feel singled out, and often alone. 

However, I have come a very long way since hiding in my home all summer. 

I am still worried to this day, especially about relapsing. 

Yet, I am proud of the progress I have made. I still need time to get use to my new love for life, and yes I still have bad days where I can barely get out of bed. 

There is no cure for this.

But I am happy, and have been working hard in many aspects of my life.

This has been my feeble apology for lacking in posts of all the films I have seen in 2015.

There will be updates from now on. 

Reach out to me if any of you need to.

Scream - The T.V Series.

Point of interest:

I am a very big fan of the Scream franchise.

One - Of course the best

Two - Best opening 

Three - So bad it's good

Four - Fresssshhhh

So, as you can tell, this was a little bit of a big thing for me.

However, with this I have a big old bag of mixed feelings.
I've finished the first season, and yet it was hard to be incredibly scared. I may have been entertained at parts, but after a couple of episodes it felt as though I was only watching it from boredom.
At the end of the day the Scream television series felt like a mild sub for Pretty Little Liars.
Except this is more grown up.

There is gore and blood. There is saucy interludes for no reason. There is a damsel in distress, who is a bit of a bad actress.
Seems like the perfect recipe for a classic horror film, right?
Yeah it is...  but it isn't a very great homage to the Scream films/franchise.
With nothing to do with Sidney and co, you'll be let down slightly if you'e a fan like me. But the thing with this, is that it keeps you hanging on just because it is surprising who the killer chooses to pick off.
So, with no actual Ghostface running umuck, you're left with a bunch of Randy, Gail and Sidney substitutes doing a lacklustre job of  not acting sketchy.
There's also a really really lazy plot of mother/daughter relationship creating chaos, just like the original!
Urgh, it was REALLY lazy.

Basically a luke warm build up to Scream Queens, which I am very much looking forward to.

Alike with Pretty Little Liars, you will feel very underwhelmed with the conclusion.
Sorry to give that away, but this really was a tiny bit of a punch in the face.
However alike with PLL again, it gives you something else right at the end... so yes I can imagine that I shall be watching season two next year.
OF COURSE THERE'S A SEASON TWO.

In my opinion, if you're looking for a way to make up your summer with copious amounts of T.V (like me), then give this a try. Because there are some good parts.
But if you're not a fan of horror in general, then leave it and run.
Even though there is scarcely a trace of anything very frightening, just don't waste your time.
All I can say is that, give it a try... but don't feel guilty if you can't finish it.
I wouldn't blame you.
This ultimately was a guess who... and that was the only part you're watching it for.
It is quite rushed and messy.

God this summer was bad.

Inside Out.

I choked up...

Let's just start with that? YEAH?

Yeah.

I went to see this film with my mum (a primary school teaching assistant), and afterwards she backed up everything I already thought about it. This is a very important film to young children, let's just say that Inside Out teaches a very important fact about life. 

There is nothing more I want than to stress how good this film is. I got out of the cinema and felt... okay.
And by that I mean that I felt very content. Inside Out concentrates on teaching children that it's okay to be sad. And THAT is what we need to ensure younger generations know.
When I say that I felt content, I think that after watching this film I felt less alone.
It is very easy to relate to every single aspect of Inside Out.
The concept of there being small people in your head who make your emotions, is a rather well thought out strategy.
It keeps kids entertained and educates them thoroughly.
In Inside Out, we are taken on an adventure when the characters of Joy and Sadness are lost when accidentally exiting Riley's brain. The film follows Joy and Sadness journeying through thick and thin to ensure that predominately Riley can be happy again.
The emotions together have stayed with Riley since birth and each take over her actions.
Riley the main character finds her family's move to San Francisco hard, as she says goodbye to her friends, hockey team and childhood home.
But Joy is always there in her brain to make her look on the bright side, along with trying to keep sadness away from the controls. Which often isn't the best thing to do.
However when both Joy and Sadness become lost in Riley's thoughts away from the control panels, ultimately Riley is left with nothing but Fear, Disgust and Anger having their say every minute of every day.
And thus Riley's parents are met with a generic 11 year old, as the 'mood swings' begin.

I loved everything about this film.
It was clever, intelligent, funny and entertaining. I urge you all to see it at some point in your lives.
There is nothing more satisfying, as when Pixar come out with a film that has a meaningful message.
Except the Cars franchise, that can leave thanks.
If your anything like me and have trouble understanding why we act the way we do, then this the nicest way of interpreting our feelings.
Also if you like character from The Office (USA) and Saturday Night Live... then yes this is the kids film for you.
(Purely because half of the casts are in this film)
Please watch this.
Thnx.

Terminator Genisys.

Have I watched anything from the Terminator franchise?

No.

My bad...

But I enjoyed this film all the same.

I mean I gather that I don't necessarily HAVE to have watched anything before this film. But it would have probably helped somewhat.

But aye, never mind. I had been meaning to watch the films prequel to this.
And yet I didn't.
What you gonna do about it?

Terminator is a cool concept... I think.
There was a nice message with this chapter, it said that Sarah Conner's Terminator father stand-in is the cutest thing in existence.
They're relationship is adorable.
Note: some really really cute af drawings. I couldn't decide if they were created by Sarah (as a child) or the Terminator.

There's a lot of stuff which would have made more sense if I had watched the earlier films, probably, but I got the hang of it quite quickly.
The action is pretty pleasing in it. But I had a feeling that the whole film went really fast. However it might not have, some of it happened to drag a tiny bit.

There's a short cameo from Matthew Smith (Dr Who), and you barely get to see him even when he is on screen. (It's complicated, seriously).
Arnold Schwarzenegger was good as always.
And by good I mean saying lines and smiling robotically every now and then.
Humorous enough.
I mean I laughed, and there's nothing more to that.

Not too much to say about this film, as it seemed to be something I would give into and watch on Sunday in order to block family out.
Wait, that sounds like my whole summer.
It's a pretty simple storyline, following a generic action film:
 Opening on war, problems, new characters, more problems, minor happiness, WORST PROBLEM EVER, WAR EVERYWHERE, someone gonna go ahead and die, SYKE, some clearing up issues, happy ending, OPENING FOR THE NEXT MONEY-MAKER.
And so you get my drift.
But then someone thought...
"Oh no, we need some more time travel in there... SHOVE IT IN!"

I'd say maybe wait until this comes out on Netflix, as it will undoubtedly do.
Did I enjoy this? Yes, for the best part of £9.95!!!!! Which was not worth it.
The action was nice, and there was a stupid romance in it as usual. Well maybe Terminator fans already knew this.
Also, Emilia Clarke was pretty good in it.
Other than that, there was not many other people who stood out very well.
EXCEPT J.K. SIMMONS OFC.
He's always good in everything.
Don't question it.
There's nothing more to add.
Except that if you're trying to choose between this and Ted 2... give in to robots and action and not offensive teddy bears.
(Who is in fact voiced by a delusional man who thinks most of his racist, stereotypical, homophobic, transphobic and sexist jokes are worth our money when it's coming out of a stuffed animal's mouth).
Oh but it's okay, because he's all for gay marriage.
To think I use have a teenage crush on Seth Macfarlane.
IT WAS ONLY BECAUSE HE HAS A VERY NICE SINGING VOICE.
We've all had those types of crushes...
*cough cough*
Shia...

Insidious: Chapter 3

Maybe... perhaps, do not take a trip to the cinema to see this one kids.

Like, seriously at the time it was terrifying.

Insidious: Chapter 3... where do I begin. I had no clue that this would make me jump as much as it did. Upon watching the first two, they have nothing on this. I really don't know what happened with this instalment.

Yes, again I found myself not seeing half of the film due to hiding behind my jacket. However, I did see some scary bits, and only because I dared to look up mainly due to the fact that I thought the scares were all over. Well obviously it wasn't, and I got to see several of the scariest peaks within the whole film.

There were a total of 4 people in the showing for Insidious 3, myself included, and it made way for a lot of confident screaming.

(As well as telling the protagonist what she should and shouldn't do).

I mean really, who looks under the bed when something has just unnerved you? 

I went into that theatre oblivious to the fact that this film would actually work very very hard at scaring the soul out of me. This was mainly due to the fact that I may not have seen a heck of a lot of the first one, and the second one pretty much underwhelmed me.

So, Insidious: Chapter 3 is a prequel to the first two films' hauntings. James Wan isn't directing this one, and this may be why the scaring was turned up a notch! His BFFL, Leigh Whannell directs this chapter. And it looks like Wan had little influence when making number 3. 

Anyway, the lovely Elise is back, and living this time. Everyone loves Elise, but for most of this film you're constantly asking "Elise are you okay girl?"

She's deflated, and why not aye? She deserves a break, but oh no! We've got a new character - Quinn Brenner (Stefanie Scott) coming along and stupidly believing that her dead mother is trying to reach her. 

After some searching from Elise, she knows that it's not the girl's mother and is indeed something 

much darker. Because we wouldn't have a horror film if it really was her mother. 

It's not even a family being haunted with this, it's mainly Quinn, but with Elise sadly being pulled into it all over again, and Quinn's single dad (Dermot Mulroney) being perplexed the whole ride.

Poor Elise, she only means well.

So, all hell has broken loose and we see aspiring Quinn get both her legs broken and almost die from a horrible accident. And with this point, you will be thinking "They wouldn't do that at this point in the film? Would they? Nah, of course not?... OH THEY DID!" And you will be surprised how much you will jump at this accident. 

At the end of the day, I missed a couple of scary parts, but looked up from behind my jacket to watch just in case I was missing key plot points. 

Maybe I did miss key points, maybe I didn't, but it was the wrong idea and I should have stayed at home where I could have slept safely that night. 

The new demon is everywhere, he's in the air vent, he's in the oven, he's at your audition, he's all over the shop.

And I looked up at all of these points, grand.

This may not sound scary to some of you with more experience or more backbone. But, it really did make me scared to even go to cinema bathroom afterwards. 

Let's look forward to the next instalment in the Insidious franchise, because the cliffhanger at the end of second film has not been answered in number 3, due to the fact that this is a damn prequel.

And this means time-wasting. Purely wasting time, so they can get a bit more of your money, before they begin answering your questions from the second film.

And guess what!

THERE'S ANOTHER CLIFFHANGER AT THE END OF THIS CHAPTER!

*maniacal laughter*

Well, sort of. 

It's a horrible ending, just as a head up!

Sorry, I've just ruined that there's a surprise at the end.

Well I heard about it, I was too busy whimpering behind my jacket like usual.

Take it as you will from my lob-sided messy review, my apologies but I was a bit of a massive wimp throughout this film.

I'll just say maybe if you're not too hot in the Insidious franchise, maybe wait for it's release. It'll surely be on Netflix within a couple of months. 

Also, I'll just say the film The Gallows CAN GO BACK FROM WHERE IT CAME FROM... I mean judging from its trailer.

I'm just saying is all!

Jurassic World.

Eh... it was pretty good.
Well better than I expected, and I didn't expect too much.

I mean it was good at the end of the day, and I think it may have been for me purely due to the fact that Jurassic World made fun of itself at many stages.
Other than that, there isn't much to state... I dunno man, I'm lost. It doesn't help that I saw this last Thursday and have pretty much forgotten most of the effect it had on me.

But!
However, I can make this point true and clear:
Jurassic World has the most god darn product placement pumped into it, it almost makes ya sick.
Well not really, I came out really wanting a COKE!
Oh it got me, and it'll get you too. We're just human-beings!
So anyway if you're looking to shut your kids up, or want a trip down memory lane because you just miss all those CGI sensations so damn much, then go see this.
I have to say at the end of the day, that I don't regret seeing it. Jurassic World is indeed a very funny film in spots, and I'm unsure whether or not parts where I laughed were intentionally funny.
I mean, you can't help but chuckle at the ending fight scene being interrupted with constant shots of Pandora and Starbucks sitting pristine in the background.

It has Speilberg written all over it.
Until you realise he didn't in fact direct it, and you're like WHHHAT!?
He produced it, what a doll.
Colin Trevorrow directed... who is he?
I didn't know either. He hasn't done a heck of a lot, Safety Not Guaranteed....
It's that one with Aubrey Plaza in it on Netflix.
I mean it's on your list, but you're never gonna touch it.

Jurassic World felt a tiny bit surreal, and no I don't mean by the fact that dinosaurs roam around as zoo attractions, purely for profit. I mean the fact that the actors may as well have been pulling the stare into the camera stunt. One which you will see on The Office.
Although it's not Ricky Gervais/Steve Carell universe, where office life is presented as somewhat entertaining.
It was people being killed and seriously injured by flying prehistoric creatures. And then a stupid (yet awesome) battle at the end.
I.e, the T-Rex comes out of his shell for a glorious cameo shot, and works with a Raptor to kill thier love-child.
Good for them!

And speaking of cameos, Jurassic World is full of them. Although it will probably leave you with saying - "Oh yeah, she's in..." and "He's on that really really bad E4 show!"
(You'll know who I mean by this).
Hence you will feel left with this mundane sense, that they're all friends with Chris Pratt.
And yes, you're left thinking you still want to be friends with Pratt, he's still funny as ever.
As well as Bryce Dallas Howard, yeah I didn't know who she was either.
I couldn't even think if I had saw her in anything beforehand.
But she's in The Help.
Which hands down makes her a flawless actress anyhow.
She's actually in loads.
Woops.

By the way, even though Spielberg merely produced, you're not getting away from him in the near future by the looks of things.
THE B F GOD DAMN G
(That excites me).
Another Tin Tin film - like anyone needs that really.
Real Steel 2 - nah.
A Halo TV series
(sigh)
Indiana Jones 5 - woah
GREMLINS - YAASS
But, then he ruins more lives with yet another Transformers movie.
I mean god Hollywood, give it up.

Anyway, go see it.
Or not.
Whichever way, it's a sweet ending.
And showed me that Raptors are actually awesome and cute and I want one.
Some dinosaurs were amazingly adorable throughout the film.

Mad Max: Fury Road

Let me begin with stating one thing....

This

is

the

best

god

damn

film

of 

the

year.

Mad Max is possibly the best film I have seen in a long time. It god damn pumps you up son.
The adrenaline rush you get from one specific point within the film put me on the edge of my seat. I cannot recommend Fury Road enough.

Pretty much every single aspect of this film is great, Mad Max is relentless. After last Friday night, I found new faith in director George Miller. (Yes indeed he did direct the Happy Feet and Babe franchises).
What a man.
I feel that I'm blithering here, but there is so much about this film that I enjoyed. I came out of the cinema wanting more, and within the first few minutes of Fury Road starting, I was convinced that this worth every penny.
It's amazing how within the beginning there is very little dialogue, and it's just action, action and more action. And with this, I would like to state that Mad Max: Fury Road has put my faith back into Action films.
Enough with the Transformers and Jason Statham titting about everywhere.
I want Mad Max.
I need more of this film!
You have no idea how hopped up I was when exiting that screening.

Charlie Theron.
What an actress.
I mean Tom Hardy was good as usual, but Charlie here stole the show.
I expect to see awards. Many of them.
Mad Max: Fury Road shows a story which liberates its female characters. They are shown as real people, not secondary characters. Max's story is taken over towards the end. It becomes apparent that his story is simply a sideshow to Imperator Furiosa. (Theron).
I mean and it's understandable. Because this tells how one woman stolen from birth keeps her sanity after being taken into the world of Immortan Joe. (Hugh Keays-Byrn).
Now that's a horrible enemy.
Let's just say that, Theron's character goes out her way, risks her life and others to make a better life for her and the five of Immortan Joe's wives... Like urgh, scumbag.
And he is.
One's heavily pregnant and another not even a month gone.
These women made the film. Each wife was an actual person, with speaking roles, personality, braveness, and tales to tell.
There are more females in it who are awesome.
Completely no ageism in Fury Road by the way.
We need more of this in mainstream films.
Like, don't argue with me. We do.
And as for this 'Returnofkings meninism' concept having problems with Fury Road.
Then, good for you guys!
Boycott it all you like, BECAUSE YOU THINK PEOPLE REALLY DON'T WANT TO WATCH A FILM PURELY BECAUSE THE WOMEN SPEAK A BIT MORE THAN THE MEN?
Nah man, the action, plot development, storyline and amazing directing brings people in. The fact that women have actual empowering roles within this film just means that George Miller has senses, isn't living in the Stone-age and Charlie Theron is one the best actresses around.

If you haven't guessed yet, I loved this film. Everything about it made me happy, this is something completely new. (Well at least to me).
I advise you all wisely to go see this film, whilst it's in the cinema. You might want to even think about going all out and IMAX your night away.
No really, visually Mad Max; Fury Road is stunning.
The 3D aspect, not so much.
Just, please, everyone go see it.
And pay for it.
George Miller needs to make more of Mad Max. This is one franchise I want to be milked to be honest, and that's saying something.
I'm even going to watch the original films, and those have Mel Gibson in it... god no, don't et me started on him.