Miss Peregrine's Home For Peculiar Children

This is a good film.

I mean I liked it, I like children's films which are slightly dark - A Series of Unfortunate Events.

And I also like Tim Burton, even if he hasn't got much originality...

I mean I can see what people mean by the second half being a plot so crazy that it tends not to make sense, and that's a small unlikable factor to it really. Some of the best characters vanish, and we're left with just the children saving the day, and it ends up with a slight air of 5 Children and It, Nanny McPhee about it. Which is getting deader by the year. 

Samuel L Jackson was possibly my favourite part about it, yet it was always gonna be hard to watch him play an enemy role without being able to swear. Like he did a good acting job here, but you could tell that he was trying hard not to drop f-bombs right and left. And if I were to say my favourite part of the film were him then that would be the honest truth.  

There's a Tim Burton cameo which I for one was so surprised by it, even if it a literal second shot of him getting hit by a walking skeleton. I never thought that he did cameos in his films, he didn't seem like that type of filmmaker - i.e. one with a big ol ego.
But yeah he is.

Rupert Everett is a good actor when it comes to comedy roles, I'm not used to seeing him in any other role really... apart from that pure joyous character in My Best Friend's Wedding. But I will say the one thing which impressed me with this film is the level of acting which has been produced, both from the young and old actors, I mean there isn't anyone who is really awful in it. And it is in the long run a good film, it's a fun film, with meaning, as well as a load of dark shit in it.
I can see what critics mean when not liking the second half of the film - they said it makes little sense. And I would agree with that, there is something about the ending which didn't sit too right with me, but then again trying to explain complicated time travel sends me up the walls. Afterall I feel that the first half is truly a good solid film, it's different, but the second half does loose that somewhat. But that doesn't necessarily mean the film is completely let down by it.

I.. I dunno how else to put it just go see it. This review is all other the shop.

Chris O'Donal should never do a fucking American accent again in the history of moving image - he wasn't even putting it on at one point, just pure Irish accent.

The Girl On The Train

I've (like half of Britain) have read the book, and yes loved it. Mainly just because it was an easy read, got in done in around 3-4 days whilst I was on my holidays in Greece. It was one of those books that when you're talked to while reading it, you get pissed off due to being drawn away from it. 

But anyway the film was good. Like the book for me I only really liked one part of it - the character of Rachael. 

I don't know about anyone else, but I hated every single character in the book, apart from Rachael. And low and behold, I hated every single character in the film, except for Rachael. 

It has to be said - Emily Blunt was absolutely flawless. I watched feeling like this could be an Oscar win for her. Everyone else in it was fine - and it doesn't help that I actually hate every single character more now that they've been visualised for me more. I mean Alison Janey is the inspector, and you've got surprisingly Laura Prepon as Rachael's flatmate, and they're both people I genuinely like, but their characters are just sort of there. 

So all in all I like this film, and maybe it's purely because of the character of Rachael and Emily Blunt's performance. But I went into this film with more than half a bottle of wine in me... I had a hard day, let's not judge. And at the end of the day i can't give you all a very good criticism on this film... because my perspective was askew and I regret nothing.

Although I would in no way advise going into watching a film at the cinema half-cut, it was a little hard to keep focus. And also the whole experience was difficult concerning not only the drink, but it was mixed in with being seated quite near to the front. 

Never again will I mix that together.

If you've read the book, you'll know that it is a very quick read, there are jumps in time, but all makes sense at the end. Now if you think that the booking ending was nice and quick, it's a lot bloody quicker in the film. And that's not necessarily a bad thing - especially when you're sat there almost going into comatose state from needing the toilet.

So yeah, I promise you that you will in no way like many of the characters, if any. But you will love Emily Blunt in it, the character of Rachael is a precious soul who only deserves goodness and NOT A FUCKING RAPIST KILLER CHARISMATIC FUCK LIKE TOM.

Why does every woman on earth seem to jump into bed with Tom, he's a evil human-being, urgh and fuck me the characters of Anna and Megan are just so unlikable. Purely just because they fall over themselves for Tom. Oh god and Scott is awful, aw y'know what just cut together clips of Rachael for me and that's the film I would rather see. 

Good luck reading any of that and wanting to see the film. 

Don't Breathe

That shit is freaking crazy...

Probably the best Horror of the year, except I would place it nearer to Thriller than Horror. By the way this film is kinda never ending - which I never thought I would say, but it made it more entertaining.
Don't Breathe follows the three most useless burglars in the world - Rocky, Alex and Money. They decide to rob a blind man, a veteran, not knowing the blueprints of the house, where to find the money they're after, and in no way thinking the blind dude has senses other than eyesight. Like he's blind, not deaf, even if they do gas him whilst he's sleeping, don't mean everyone should shout about it.
So basically, the blind veteran, who has no actual name, got an settlement of money from a rich girl who ran over his daughter and killed her. The trio plan on robbing him only for the money, and Rocky and Money decide to move out of town once completing their final hit.
All you really need to know is that Rocky is abused emotionally at home by her mum, Money is her boyfriend who dabbles in unsavoury stuff, and Alex is the son of the boss of a home security company - i.e. how the three of them get into the houses. Oh yeah he's in love with Rocky.
There is a cute doggy, but he's not very nice as he's owned by the blind man seeking revenge on the people burgling him.
But he always looks like he's smiling and I can't help still liking him.

It starts off well, and may get slow by the time the main characters actually get into robbing the blind man, and from there the jump scares take their time to appear. But when they do, oh boy oh pal old sonny dear me oh my. It is just one thing after another.

The twist - and yeah, I've just ruined the fact that there's a twist for you, sorry - it's pretty good, but I knew there was one big ass plot twist coming upon reading reviews. So I was guessing before getting in there, and had a feeling it would be that there is someone or someones locked in the basement and such, and I figured that it would children. You see I watched the last three seasons of Law & Order: SVU within about two weeks and was still in the mode.
It's not, but it's still fucked up.

I haven't actually seen that many films in the cinema this year, due to being stone cold broke and such, but this is worth it - especially within the cinema setting, you need to watch it very loudly obviously.
Anyway go see Don't Breathe because it will fuck you up... in a good way.
You're gonna wish you spend your money on seeing this in the cinema rather than Sausage Party. 

Sausage Party

... There are few words.

I just don't know...
It's amazing how Seth Rogen & co just keep getting more and more offensive, and yet make it somewhat quite funny. But this, it kinda takes the piss a bit with pushing the offensive stereotypes and such. Because throughout Sausage Party you'll find that you'll laugh a little, and then not at all.

This is a hard film to explain, it's an average film for the most part - it's mostly stoner comedy (obviously, it's talking food), and that's probably why the storyline is so lackluster and why I got so bored. Which is strange because I'm usually not too bored with stoner comedies - I use to be a regular little fuck boy-loving girl going after the more undesired boys.
Oh how far we've come.

And that's all well and good... until the ending, and kids... I am scarred for life.
It's been a whole three days since and I still want to scrub my brain clean of the images.
(SPOILERS)
I get that when individuals are high off their asses they may often wonder the process of how food could, if at all, have sexual intercourse - but I for one haven't thought about it in my life AND I DIDN'T PAY £7.90 OUT OF MY OVERDRAFT TO BE DAMAGED LIKE THAT!
An actual orgy of food isn't nice.

Some may find it hilarious and some may find it disgusting, and I know that I didn't enjoy it as much as I thought I would. I found it boring in some places, it wasn't a heck of a lot like other Rogen films. And I say I didn't like it that much, but I don't wanna be singled out like a old fogey for not liking a film everyone else is in love with.
I suppose once I realised that I'm actually not very happy watching later Seth Rogen films, apart from Bad Neighbours 1 & 2 - they were fucking great, then it's apparent that him and his friends are actually running out of material.

This film lacks body until the end - WHEN THERE'S NOTHING BUT BODY TO BE SEEN.
Urgh I feel dirty.

Purge: Election Year

If I'm honest with ya'll, the Purges are some of the most stressful films I've ever watched. I know they're good films, just sometimes depressing and mostly anxiety inducing. 

And I was in a car crash on Sunday night, so maybe this wasn't the best decision for my heart rate at the moment. 

But it's a Purge film, and it's enjoyable.

Purge: Election Year basically takes on a lot of similarities as of Purge: Anarchy 

It's just like any other Purge film, the trailer promises it to be very scary with all the masks, and rich white people hating on the poor, all that kinda stuff all over again. I say it's just like any other of the Purges, but this one has a lot more likeable characters, even some of the people purging are somewhat likeable, and by that I just mean the two most annoying and bitchy girls ever seen on film are hilarious. 

She fucking came all the way back to a deli to kill the owner, because he wouldn't let her shoplift a Terry's Chocolate Orange...

She was a good actress.

Again like any other Purge film, there's two different stories going on, essentially the white people who get caught in the middle of the outside world, and the minorities trying to just get through the night. Elizabeth Mitchell (that's Juliet from Lost to you), runs for president campaigning to end the Purge once she watched her family be tortured and killed when younger. She has Leo Barnes (Frank Grillo) who survived the Purge: Anarchy, as her body guard. The pair are betrayed by other body guard and some sort of campaign manager, and basically neo-Nazis have A LOT of funding from the founding fathers to capture the senator.

Ofc the pair escape, come into contact with 'murder tourists' and are basically saved because they're kinda useless. 

The pair then come into contact with the other characters, Joe, Marcos and Laney (Mykelti Williamson, Joseph Julian Soria & Betty Gabriel) = my favs. 

These are the best characters, the most funny & the most endearing. Two of whom attempt to guard their deli, while the other roams the streets in attempts to give purgers medical attention. 

And yes it's got all the same tropes, jump scares which made my insides weep. I feel the whole idea of people being stuck out the street while people Purge has just been repeated somewhat here, there are many echoes of Anarchy. Especially as the final climax serves as a replication of rich white people purging together in an act of putting their purges on as a showcase. Y'know JUST LIKE ANARCHY!

But other than that, it's a really enjoyable film, just like the others, but with a message of it being it's last in the franchise. It's full of killing which puts you on edge, as well as somewhat satisfies you - just the good guys killing the bad guys, blah, blah. It's fair acting, mostly from the three most likeable characters, you tend to forget the senator character is even there for the most part, even though she's the main reason the group are together at all. 

I would say this might be the best out of the Purge films, but I can't help but feel that Anarchy just did it a little bit better. 

Finding Dory

It's okay... I mean it's funny, and heartwarming, but perhaps is missing something.

I feel like I'm touching something which doesn't deserve to be put down, and it doesn't - Pixar takes the creative piss in entertaining the young and the old.
I just wish there had been a bit more... cleaning up on the storyline. 

It ain't no Finding Nemo, of course it's not, and I feel like the bandwagon of sequels for Pixar lately hasn't treated them so well. I say that, and am yet only looking forward to Incredibles 2 in the recent future.
I enjoyed it for the most part, I just feel that you shouldn't go in thinking it's going to be like Finding Nemo. I would admit that for about the first half hour it is just taking the same path as Finding Nemo, ridiculous with taking its time to introduce the old characters again. At the end of the film, you'll find it endearing, whilst a ever forgetful Dory suddenly having flashbacks, goes in search of her parents. Her, Marlin and Nemo set off, and I'm still unsure how Nemo got so much time off of school... then a voice comes up in my head like "Sarah, they're fish ffs".
So they meet a lot of fish along the way and by chance they end up getting lost, and being separated, and oh wow once lost the separated three end up where they're meant to be - a rather nice Aquarium of sorts, and rejoin and separate again, and oh there was a lot of getting lost and going round in circles. Anyway, Dory looks for her parents, and along the way finds an octopus, two whales, two seals, a crab couple, Sigourney Weaver, a load of fish who look like her, her childhood home and yet not her parents. And yet again still separated from father and son, Marlin and Nemo, she ends up back the sea... where she finds her parents. And I'll tell you what, it's a sad scene but so happy that it may make you tear up. But that's where the happiness ends, because there suddenly needs to be a massive climax, because it seems like the filmmakers suddenly realised that Dory hadn't actually saved the day or became the hero at all. So they were like "shit" AND PUT HER BACK IN THE AQUARIUM AWAY FROM HER LONG LOST PARENTS WHO SHE JUST FUCKING FOUND, IN ORDER TO SAVE TWO FISH WHO HAD BEEN DICKING HER ABOUT SINCE THE BEGINNING. And there's some more stuff with Hank the Octopus DRIVING A COCKING TRUCK...

You wouldn't know anyone famous was in it apart from Ellen DeGeneres unless you looked at IMDB. However it's like half Modern Family cast, and by that I am over-exaggerating, it's only Ed O'Neil and Ty Burrell. But Ed O'Neil is refreshing in playing the only role he's prone to as of late, which is a grump. The Octopus Hank, played by O'Neil however way one of he funniest characters.

Aaaaand after looking up the IMDB for Finding Dory, I regret saying that the film is lacking within the big limits, it's not really... but then again it is. This film man, it was nice, a nice film. It was fun even, and there were certain parts which I would say were very funny... It is clear though that it is a built up production and marketing had shown that it is indeed a children's film, but more fool me fo no believing that it is solely that. Yet there is the Sigourney Weaver jokes which would go over any child's head.

Finding Dory is a good film, but only to the point of it being a child's film, and I would also maybe advise you of using your cinema trip for something else if you're not looking for such a gushy film as such. The funniest parts mainlyconsider the roles of two seals played by Idris Elba and Dominic West BTW.
Now this review was all over the shop. Feel free to ignore it.

Suicide Squad

Why does everyone hate it so much? I quite liked it, I was settling in ready for a let down due to all the relatively negative reviews, but well pleasantly surprised. 

But so, I can understand why it didn't live up to the trailer, I suppose most people got the image of it being a serious film with elements of humour... not injected with the cheese I was met with. But it's lucky that I can handle a certain amount of cheese within a film. 

I realise I'm not making much sense, but neither does much of the film...

So, let's start off with it's mainly the fact that likeable characters are carrying the film throughout, I wouldn't say that the storyline is particularly amazing, as well as the directing job. David Ayers has done well, just to the point of making sure the film echoes the fact that it is in fact based on a comic book. Maybe most audiences forgot that fact, I dunno.

It's enjoyable for the most part however, it's fast-paced to point where I guess you could say it feels a little rushed at some parts. And you've got to give it to this take on antiheroes - this is one reasonably multicultural gang.

Will Smith and Margot Robbie take over the show overall, as Deadshot and Harley Quinn. Afterall we were expecting a good performance from Robbie, but I would say we got a pretty freaking great one. Other than that you'll find Captain Boomerang funny, El Diablo and Killer Croc both quite lovable in a strange way and Katana isn't given anything but a background role of  'helper'. However Viola Davis is always as good as ever, there's no two ways about it, just her presence on screen gives me life.

People who could have done better begins with Cara Delevinge, supposedly she didn't ruin the film by her hand alone, but one of the ending scenes of the Enchantress downfall made up my mind that this woman is not a good actress, She's okay... but not good. And um, I hate to say this but... I didn't really enjoy Jared Leto's Joker. Not as much as I thought I would anyway, I suppose the hype built around the whole film has let some people, fans and non-fans, down to a certain degree. The Joker is a hard role, like c'mon he was taking on a lot with it. But the promises were made and not delivered as smooth as would have liked. He seemed very awkward throughout it all, like the persona was so totally under his control that he had to force out the crazy. 

Let's just say that Margot Robbie made crazy look easy, whereas Jared Leto made me feel uncomfortable but not the right way. And also, let's face it, there's only ever going to be Heath Ledger's live action, and Mark Hamill's voice to put he shame in the Joker category. 

But here's the once part which left a bad taste in my mouth, Enchantress was so boring and over-animated it made my head hurt. Now I'm no fan of the Suicide Squad comics or their place within the DC universe, I haven't got a lot of knowledge about them, and that probably doesn't help int he way of anyone reading this sub-par review. But I came away from the cinema reasoning the choice of a fucking witch being used as the enemy. I assume her character is the same in the comics, but think of it this way if you can't get your head around the absurdness of a group of bad guys fighting against a witch. The film would've found it hard for the essential 'bad guys' to be fighting for the greater good against Superman or Batman. With the Suicide Squad joining forces with the army, it had to be an object with unnatural force for them to want to fight to save the city. 

Does that make sense?

No, none of this really does, I know. This was a hard film to review.

At the end of the day, don't come into the cinema with a mind set on what you saw in the trailer, there's a lot to the film which you won't see in the way of storyline and will probably take you by surprise if you enter with your mindset in the way of a serious superhero film. It's a comedy, with action in it, try to take your mind away from the fact that there's alien-like creatures used as an army against the protagonists and an actual witch as the force of evil.  

I would advise to go in with limited high hopes, because you will be surprised for the better. Things you will take away from Suicide Squad is the enjoyable characters, and the fact that Ben Affleck's Batman has only about 20 seconds of time on screen. 

However it has a pretty great soundtrack, songs I haven't listened to since I was 17 and attempting to write my own graphic novel...

*Ted Mosby voice* - But more on that later. 

I'm joking, no one will ever want to make my graphic novel, because I am too lazy to write anything further than these lame reviews and a couple of essays for uni... 

God help me this dissertation year.