Insidious: Chapter 3

Maybe... perhaps, do not take a trip to the cinema to see this one kids.

Like, seriously at the time it was terrifying.

Insidious: Chapter 3... where do I begin. I had no clue that this would make me jump as much as it did. Upon watching the first two, they have nothing on this. I really don't know what happened with this instalment.

Yes, again I found myself not seeing half of the film due to hiding behind my jacket. However, I did see some scary bits, and only because I dared to look up mainly due to the fact that I thought the scares were all over. Well obviously it wasn't, and I got to see several of the scariest peaks within the whole film.

There were a total of 4 people in the showing for Insidious 3, myself included, and it made way for a lot of confident screaming.

(As well as telling the protagonist what she should and shouldn't do).

I mean really, who looks under the bed when something has just unnerved you? 

I went into that theatre oblivious to the fact that this film would actually work very very hard at scaring the soul out of me. This was mainly due to the fact that I may not have seen a heck of a lot of the first one, and the second one pretty much underwhelmed me.

So, Insidious: Chapter 3 is a prequel to the first two films' hauntings. James Wan isn't directing this one, and this may be why the scaring was turned up a notch! His BFFL, Leigh Whannell directs this chapter. And it looks like Wan had little influence when making number 3. 

Anyway, the lovely Elise is back, and living this time. Everyone loves Elise, but for most of this film you're constantly asking "Elise are you okay girl?"

She's deflated, and why not aye? She deserves a break, but oh no! We've got a new character - Quinn Brenner (Stefanie Scott) coming along and stupidly believing that her dead mother is trying to reach her. 

After some searching from Elise, she knows that it's not the girl's mother and is indeed something 

much darker. Because we wouldn't have a horror film if it really was her mother. 

It's not even a family being haunted with this, it's mainly Quinn, but with Elise sadly being pulled into it all over again, and Quinn's single dad (Dermot Mulroney) being perplexed the whole ride.

Poor Elise, she only means well.

So, all hell has broken loose and we see aspiring Quinn get both her legs broken and almost die from a horrible accident. And with this point, you will be thinking "They wouldn't do that at this point in the film? Would they? Nah, of course not?... OH THEY DID!" And you will be surprised how much you will jump at this accident. 

At the end of the day, I missed a couple of scary parts, but looked up from behind my jacket to watch just in case I was missing key plot points. 

Maybe I did miss key points, maybe I didn't, but it was the wrong idea and I should have stayed at home where I could have slept safely that night. 

The new demon is everywhere, he's in the air vent, he's in the oven, he's at your audition, he's all over the shop.

And I looked up at all of these points, grand.

This may not sound scary to some of you with more experience or more backbone. But, it really did make me scared to even go to cinema bathroom afterwards. 

Let's look forward to the next instalment in the Insidious franchise, because the cliffhanger at the end of second film has not been answered in number 3, due to the fact that this is a damn prequel.

And this means time-wasting. Purely wasting time, so they can get a bit more of your money, before they begin answering your questions from the second film.

And guess what!

THERE'S ANOTHER CLIFFHANGER AT THE END OF THIS CHAPTER!

*maniacal laughter*

Well, sort of. 

It's a horrible ending, just as a head up!

Sorry, I've just ruined that there's a surprise at the end.

Well I heard about it, I was too busy whimpering behind my jacket like usual.

Take it as you will from my lob-sided messy review, my apologies but I was a bit of a massive wimp throughout this film.

I'll just say maybe if you're not too hot in the Insidious franchise, maybe wait for it's release. It'll surely be on Netflix within a couple of months. 

Also, I'll just say the film The Gallows CAN GO BACK FROM WHERE IT CAME FROM... I mean judging from its trailer.

I'm just saying is all!

Jurassic World.

Eh... it was pretty good.
Well better than I expected, and I didn't expect too much.

I mean it was good at the end of the day, and I think it may have been for me purely due to the fact that Jurassic World made fun of itself at many stages.
Other than that, there isn't much to state... I dunno man, I'm lost. It doesn't help that I saw this last Thursday and have pretty much forgotten most of the effect it had on me.

But!
However, I can make this point true and clear:
Jurassic World has the most god darn product placement pumped into it, it almost makes ya sick.
Well not really, I came out really wanting a COKE!
Oh it got me, and it'll get you too. We're just human-beings!
So anyway if you're looking to shut your kids up, or want a trip down memory lane because you just miss all those CGI sensations so damn much, then go see this.
I have to say at the end of the day, that I don't regret seeing it. Jurassic World is indeed a very funny film in spots, and I'm unsure whether or not parts where I laughed were intentionally funny.
I mean, you can't help but chuckle at the ending fight scene being interrupted with constant shots of Pandora and Starbucks sitting pristine in the background.

It has Speilberg written all over it.
Until you realise he didn't in fact direct it, and you're like WHHHAT!?
He produced it, what a doll.
Colin Trevorrow directed... who is he?
I didn't know either. He hasn't done a heck of a lot, Safety Not Guaranteed....
It's that one with Aubrey Plaza in it on Netflix.
I mean it's on your list, but you're never gonna touch it.

Jurassic World felt a tiny bit surreal, and no I don't mean by the fact that dinosaurs roam around as zoo attractions, purely for profit. I mean the fact that the actors may as well have been pulling the stare into the camera stunt. One which you will see on The Office.
Although it's not Ricky Gervais/Steve Carell universe, where office life is presented as somewhat entertaining.
It was people being killed and seriously injured by flying prehistoric creatures. And then a stupid (yet awesome) battle at the end.
I.e, the T-Rex comes out of his shell for a glorious cameo shot, and works with a Raptor to kill thier love-child.
Good for them!

And speaking of cameos, Jurassic World is full of them. Although it will probably leave you with saying - "Oh yeah, she's in..." and "He's on that really really bad E4 show!"
(You'll know who I mean by this).
Hence you will feel left with this mundane sense, that they're all friends with Chris Pratt.
And yes, you're left thinking you still want to be friends with Pratt, he's still funny as ever.
As well as Bryce Dallas Howard, yeah I didn't know who she was either.
I couldn't even think if I had saw her in anything beforehand.
But she's in The Help.
Which hands down makes her a flawless actress anyhow.
She's actually in loads.
Woops.

By the way, even though Spielberg merely produced, you're not getting away from him in the near future by the looks of things.
THE B F GOD DAMN G
(That excites me).
Another Tin Tin film - like anyone needs that really.
Real Steel 2 - nah.
A Halo TV series
(sigh)
Indiana Jones 5 - woah
GREMLINS - YAASS
But, then he ruins more lives with yet another Transformers movie.
I mean god Hollywood, give it up.

Anyway, go see it.
Or not.
Whichever way, it's a sweet ending.
And showed me that Raptors are actually awesome and cute and I want one.
Some dinosaurs were amazingly adorable throughout the film.